For those of you who do not know, my partner is a massage therapist. We met in Massage College and graduated together.
He’s my best friend and I am so glad we get to do life together.
When we graduated from school, we decided to get jobs in separate clinics because well who needs THAT much time together.
I’ve been so happy at my clinic and love the environment, I see myself staying there for a long time. My clinic is well established so I often get referrals sent to me rather than me having to do my own advertising.
My partner, on the other hand, hasn’t had the same luck. Unfortunately he had to start his career working somewhere that wasn’t the right fit. When that fell through, he decided to open his own practice.
Things were going really well for him, he was renting a space for a really good price, his clientele was growing and I could tell he was having a lot of fun marketing and networking.
He spent a couple of years in this location before moving to a new one which is more central and in a building that is quieter.
Moving to the new location definitely has come with its challenges.
For one, rent is higher so there is more pressure to see more clients to cover that cost.
Secondly, he lost quite a few clients as he transitioned into the new space so he lost that steady pay flow.
The third, and probably the biggest challenge he has faced regardless of the location he is in, is the fact he is male.
Male health care practitioners (I think in any field) have a bad wrap for being 1 on 1 with people.
Sometimes, people who have been in traumatic situations with males don’t feel comfortable to be in a situation that could resemble that past experience. Which is understandable.
Sometimes, “manly men” think its “gay” to be massaged by another male. Which is NOT so understandable.
It's also not understandable when someone gets told by their romantic partner that they are not allowed to get massaged by a male therapist because it's “weird”, “involves too much nudity”, and they “don’t want some other guy touching you like that”.
GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m sorry, but if you are that insecure about your relationship you need to evaluate your life and stop holding your partner back from getting whatever healthcare they need.
ALSO EDUCATE YOUR DAMN SELF.
If you are someone who thinks massage therapy is AT ALL sexual then read a damn book.
Look, there is nothing wrong with sex work but understand the difference. There are different places and people for that.
But, seeing a remedial massage therapist who has the proper schooling isn’t where you will find that nor is it what to expect from ANY massage therapist who does not advertise that they do that.
As an outsider to my partner’s experience, I really feel for him. I know what it feels like to not be taken seriously or trusted because of your gender.
Everything else in my life I have experienced some sort of discrimination regarding being a woman, and I know most woman can say the same.
However in the massage realm, I feel like being a emotionally intelligent woman is like the white male in everyday society. We are who people want to see, who they trust first, who they think will give them the results they want.
There are so so SO many things wrong with society and I will never end this post if I get into it now.
So I will leave you with this:
If you are someone who is interested in massage therapy, do your research about what it is, AND WHAT IT IS NOT.
Every practitioner (sex and gender aside) is different. They treat different, they will approach your ailment different, they will speak and listen to you differently. But if you are closing doors based on sex and gender then you need to think about why that is.
Again, if your reason is trauma based, I hope you are seeking the care you need by any practitioner you are comfortable with.
If it is not, then stop caring about if the massage therapist is male, female, alien, purple, WHATEVER. Go see someone, ANYONE that you jive with. Allow yourself the chance to meet multiple practitioners until you find the right fit.
If sex work is something you seek, that is totally okay but that is NOT what a registered massage therapist is for so PLEASE respect that.
Finally, every massage therapist has a different set of people skills. There are many females who lack emotional intelligence and there are many males who have enormous amounts of emotional intelligence. Don’t write people off based on assumptions and gender. Get to know someone first before you decide if they are a good fit or not.
Its 2024 for goodness sake. Can’t we all just stop with the stereotypes and see each other for who we really are which is HUMAN.
Do you have any personal experiences with this? Sound off in the comments below!
Thanks for taking the time to read this rant.
~Felicia
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